OLYMPUS HOUSE
(children’s musical)
Book and Lyrics by Paul Stewart
Story by Matt Castle
Copyright, Paul Stewart. May be downloaded, duplicated and read out loud by anyone seriously considering production. Can not be preformed without written permission.
NOTE: Sheet music and a video of the show are available. The actual script used for the first production which contains a few changes and less detailed stage direction is also available, but currently unavailable electronically.
CAST LIST
THE MUSES: The nine daughters of King Zeus. Although
each goddess presides over something, they can all sing and kick up their heels. As with all the principal gods, their wardrobes reflect their specialties.
TERPSICHORE - (the oldest) presides over dancing
THEIA - presides over comedy
EUTERPE - Presides over instrumental music
CALLIOPE - presides over epic poetry
URANIA - presides over astronomy
MELPOMENE - presides over tragedy
POLYHYMNIA - presides over singing
ERATO - presides over lyric poetry
CLIO - presides over history
KING ZEUS: Father of all gods, but he's slipping some.
APOLLO: Son of Zeus and half brother to the Muses. He is the Sun, the god of light. He is also the chief clerk of Mount Olympus and serves as narrator of the story. The good brother.
MERCURY: The bad brother, also a son of King Zeus. Best known as the god of thieves.
HANNIBAL: Army general, grumpy god of war
CLIENTS: Nine mortals who the nine sisters seek to help during their community service stint.
JASON: Terpsichore's client, falsely imprisoned man.
NATILY: Theia's, troubled high school class clown.
EMILY: Euterpe's, beautiful voice, but won't talk.
MELISSA: Calliope's, single mother given up on writing.
ALLEN: Urania's, mysterious homeless man.
REG: Melpomene's, young architect looking for break.
COLLEEN: Polyhymnia's, songwriter, unsupportive folks.
GAYLEEN: Erato's, depressed poet.
JOHN: Clio's frustrated high school history teacher.
CHORUS: They are the gods hanging around Mount
Olympus, as well as inmates in a prison
and homeless people camping out under the stars.
Note: The term "god" refers to both genders.
ACT I, SCENE ONE:
The summit of Mount Olympus. It is nighttime at the Temple of the Gods. Slowly the lights come up as dawn breaks. An early morning fog creeps across the empty set. Offstage the chorus is softly singing "Stars."
OFFSTAGE CHORUS
STARS, WE ARE BLINKING, STARS
BUT DAWN IS COMING, STARS
TIME TO GET OFF DUTY,
THE SUN IS GETTING MOODY
DO YOU LIVE UNDER STARS?
MY ONLY FRIENDS ARE STARS
WE MEAN SOMETHING, STARS
WE'RE STILL SOMEONE, STARS
GET OFF DUTY
THE SUN IS MOODY, STARS
WE ARE BLINKING,
ALWAYS TWINKLING
EVER WINKING STARS!
The colorful sunrise reveals the outdoor temple in all its splendor. Birds begin to sing. Picturesque Greek columns, ivy, beautiful flowers. A heavenly appearance. Lush mountains in the background which seem to be reaching into the clouds.
The temple is the main headquarters for the deities. There are stone benches and plenty of places to sit. Various levels of platforms surround the courtyard. The focal point of the courtyard is the eternal spring of Mount Olympus. It could be described as the "water cooler." The timeless serenity of the scene is broken by a voice offstage.
APOLLO
(offstage)
Alright, alright I want every star out of here...now!
RISE AND SHINE! RISE AND SHINE! COME ON PEOPLE! IT'S WAKE UP TIME!
RANDOM GOD
(offstage)
Oh, shut up and go back to bed!
We begin to hear sounds of gods waking up. They groan and complain. While Apollo talks, the chorus softly begins to sing a few bars of the upcoming song "The problem with being a god." Or they keep singing the same song, only they sing "gods, we are gods."
Enter APOLLO. Apollo is the god of day, the god of light. Upon his entrance the set lights come all the way up. He seems to have an almost luminescent quality about him.
OFFSTAGE CHORUS
THE SUN, YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY, SUN
YOU'RE ALWAYS BURNING, EVER SCORCHING,
NEVER LEARNING, SUN
HOW I WISH THE NIGHT WOULD NEVER END
The eager young god Apollo is crowned with a laurel, a ring of foliage that is popular headgear among the supreme beings. Dressed in a glowing toga, he has a bow in one hand and a harp in the other. Being the god of the sun, he is the ultimate morning person. He has the boundless energy of an aerobics instructor.
The fog slowly dissipates. Several gods begin to appear from every direction. Some of them are also morning people, greeting the day with vigor. Others are grumpy; they stagger and stretch, rubbing their eyes. They continue to sing softly under the dialogue.
APOLLO
(moving like Richard Simmons)
Okay, everybody up, one two three..!
RANDOM GOD
Apollo, it's too early. I don't care if you are the sun, give it a rest.
A few of the deities dip their goblets in the eternal spring and drink. One of them begins to serve fruit to the others. They chat among themselves. Only a few keep singing. Although they all wear sandals, togas and standard mythological attire, some of them supplement their wardrobes with untraditional accessories.
APOLLO
Crassus, comb your hair... Ah, Phyllis you look splendid. Narcissus, we have to talk.
RANDOM GOD
I hate summers, you're hardly gone a few hours.
APOLLO
Let's cut the singing. We've got work to do.
The singing stops. Some of the gods are happy to see Apollo. Ad-lib greetings, hugs, handshakes. Others view him with nothing but contempt, they mumble ad-lib derogatory remarks. Apollo sets down his bow and harp, he reaches behind a stone and begins to set up a makeshift desk. He pulls out a scroll, parchment paper and a feather pen set. He examines the paperwork.
Apollo then turns and looks to the audience as if he is noticing them for the first time. Apollo will serve as a narrator to help move the the story along and make it easier to understand.
APOLLO
(to audience)
Well, hello all of you mortals.
I'm Apollo, son of King Zeus.
Welcome to Mount Olympus! I'm the God of the sun so I'm the first one up. You like that little effect I did with the fog? I'm also chief clerk of the gods, in charge of personnel.
(whispers)
It's hard to get good help these days.
Suddenly we hear a sound coming from his toga. He reaches in and pulls out a cellular phone.
APOLLO
Excuse me...
(answers phone)
Apollo, god of light speaking.
... Yes...No, no, no.
(takes out note pad)
1000 oxen, 500 pigs, and 300 sheep...Neptune never gives us enough lobsters for the salad!
(glances at fancy watch)
The feast is at eight sharp. Yes. I'll fax you the menu…Why? Because you never read your E-mail!
(hangs up, looks to audience)
What did you expect? Us Gods live forever, so we're still around today.
You see, we're closer to you mortals than you
think. Mount Olympus is so tall it reaches into the heavens, but it is on Earth. For over a century now you folks have been coming up with all kinds of electronic gizmos. Now we've got lap tops, satellite TV, hair dryers, microwave ovens...As if some of us weren't lazy enough in the first place.
He points to a few gods who are loafing about, leaning against columns trying to go back to sleep. He begins to bounce along handing out several small scrolls.
APOLLO
Everybody, who hasn't gotten their assignment for this week? Anyone...anyone? There's a monster loose in the Theban Forest. The grass is not green enough and the waterfall in the south slopes has become a trickle.
RANDOM GOD
(taking scroll, sincere)
Apollo, I'll help ya.
RANDOM GOD
The donuts are here!
A god appears bringing coffee, donuts and muffins. The sincere god drops the scroll and his sincerity when he sees that breakfast is here. Everyone rushes to eat. Lots of playful shoving and making noise, as everyone crowds the concession god and eagerly feast on the food.
APOLLO
(to audience, shakes head)
The great thing about being a god is you don't have to count calories. But you don't even need to eat to survive!
Offstage we hear an elephant sounding off. Enter a new God HANNIBAL. He is an impressive sight in a toga that has been modified to look like a army general's uniform. Hannibal is a god of war. With him are two assistant gods who are carrying his luggage, some bags and a wooden crate. They shake the dust off, looking as if they have just traveled a long way.
Being a grumpy stuck-up oaf, Hannibal pushes a few gods out of the way. He gives everyone a dirty look as he views the temple grounds with discontent.
HANNIBAL
(looking around)
Excuse me...I said excuse me. I need some attention immediately.
All the gods are making lots of noise and Apollo is occupied with trying to get them to listen to him. He does not pay attention to Hannibal.
APOLLO
People!...Hello!
HANNIBAL
I said EXCUSE ME! I'm a
transfer from east of Carthage.
I need my housing assignment. NOW!
Hannibal recognizes Apollo as the man in charge, he steps toward his desk. Impatiently he mumbles something about riding an elephant a thousand miles. He reaches into his wooden crate and takes out a vase. Inside the vase is glittering powder. He sprinkles a bit of it on the shoulders of a couple of gods who happen to be standing between him and Apollo. The gods instantly become paralyzed, they then melt to the floor, but are only temporarily affected.
Then the grumpy god of war does some bit of magic such as throwing down a pellet that bursts into smoke or something--an effect that will make everyone stop in their tracks and take notice--accompanied by a burst of loud music. It is obvious that Hannibal is more powerful than your average god.
APOLLO
(intimidated)
Oh, sorry to keep you waiting...
(handing him papers)
If you'd just fill out these forms...
Oh, you're General Hannibal.
HANNIBAL
What kind of disorganized operation is this?!
Where is that old man King Zeus?
RANDOM GOD
Asleep. He's the only one who gets to sleep in.
HANNIBAL
(shakes head)
Typical.
You can tell that a lot of the gods agree with him and resent the fact that Zeus gets to sleep in. Ad-lib complaining.
Hannibal moves out of the forefront. He sits down and grumpily fills out the proper forms.
APOLLO
(to audience)
We thought he was gone forever.
Hannibal. A god of war, a Carthaginian general. He melts jagged rocks with fire and magic so his elephants can climb across mountains.
Loud elephant noise. Apollo looks off and does an exaggerated sigh when he spots his brother.
APOLLO
Oh, great, here comes more trouble. My half-brother Mercury, son of Zeus and the god of thieves!
Enter MERCURY. He is in all ways the opposite of his half brother Apollo. Mercury has a scruffy beard and disheveled appearance. Looking like he just woke up. (Not a morning person.) He is wearing a stained toga with black stretch pants underneath. Instead of a laurel he wears a modern headband. He somewhat resembles a heavy metal rocker.
Mercury is carrying a large suitcase filled with merchandise. He sets the suitcase down, smirks at Apollo, then steals a muffin out of one god's hand and a cup of coffee out of the other. The outlaw brother is surly with a raspy voice, but he has a lot of friends who are glad to see him. Ad-lib greetings.
APOLLO
Mercury, you've been gone for weeks. Did you deliver all the messages?
MERCURY
Yes, brother.
(patting suitcase)
And I did some shopping...How's father? Is his mind still slipping?
APOLLO
Don't talk about King Zeus like that! This whole place is slipping...You know we do still
have some laws and customs up here. You're going to get in trouble for violating the dress code.
MERCURY
Oh, get a grip, Apollo. Are you going to call the Fashion Police on me again?
(to his friends)
The gods of dress get very angry. Ain't he a pest?
Mercury smirks and then does a flawless imitation of his brother.
MERCURY
(waving arms)
People, rise and shine, it's wake up time. One two three...
Some of the gods burst out laughing. We begin to see that the court of the gods is made up of three distinct camps. One set of deities are hardworking and idealistic (the morning people). When they react it is to support Apollo. In another camp are the hardcore followers of Mercury. They worship his outlaw behavior and want to have fun, assuming no responsibility. A third group is undecided; they'll cheer for whoever has the upper hand at the moment. The three groups should be evenly divided, but that is up to the kids.
Apollo sighs at Mercury's mimicking him, then goes about his business of shuffling papers. He talks to the audience.
APOLLO
You wonder why we're losing our influence with you mortals. You see, there are limits to our
powers. Some of these sad sacks play Nintendo and watch MTV all day.
Mercury and one of his followers laugh like Beavis and Butthead.
APOLLO
The problem with being a god is...it can make you lazy.
MERCURY
(relaxing)
The great thing about being a god is...it can make you lazy.
At about this time Mercury steals the laurel off someone's head. He tosses it to another god and a game of keep-away begins. Although the gods have different politics, there is relative harmony (at least until Hannibal appears). The gods are all friends and are only having fun. Lots of yelling and horseplay.
APOLLO
Give that back! We've got chores to do!
Hannibal who has been in the background with his assistants stands up to greet Mercury.
MERCURY
(recognizing him)
Why, it's been ages!
He crosses and greets Hannibal. Mercury is the only one Hannibal is glad to see. Mercury is a little skeptical of Hannibal's presence.
HANNIBAL
You old horse thief. Have you rigged any chariot races lately?
RANDOM GOD
The Muses are coming, the Muses are coming!
A horn blows. The crowd parts while the nine MUSES make a grand entrance. Chorus hums their theme song. Rose petals are thrown at their feet. During their entrance they are treated like queens among gods, but that is simply tradition. The girls see these people every day and they begin to greet each other informally.
The nine Muses can be of various ages. They are all young and irresponsible girls prone to giggling. Not always indicated is that they often finish sentences for each other.
A few of them begin to do a little dance. The oldest and most prominent Muse is TERPSICHORE. She does an impressive dance move. Mercury and his expatriates are irritated by all the attention his sisters get. But no one is more disgusted at the sight of beauty than Hannibal.
APOLLO
(to audience)
These are king Zeus' daughters. They represent hope and inspiration. Terpsichore is the oldest, the goddess of dance.
MERCURY
(whispers to Hannibal)
A bunch of spoiled brats if ya wanna know the truth.
HANNIBAL
(to Mercury)
It's beyond me why'd you want to do all that singing and dancing when you could be out killing people.
APOLLO
Terpsichore, girls. Tardy as usual. You haven't been finishing your assignments.
You keep missing chores and being absent. Thalia, you called in sick three times last week.
THEIA
Well...
APOLLO
Gods don't get sick!
TERPSICHORE
(dancing)
We sing, we dance...
EUTERPE
What more is there?
CALLIOPE
We've been rehearsing.
URANIA
For the feast tonight.
Apollo frowns and shakes his head.
MELPOMENE
Oh, brother, don't be a fuddy-duddy.
APOLLO
Simply because you're the King's daughters does not excuse you from responsibility. Do you want to end up like our brother?
Apollo points to Mercury. Mercury has opened his suitcase and like a sidewalk vendor he is showing Hannibal and his assistants some merchandise. Jewelry, a line of fake Rolex watches. Hannibal nods and is pleased by the goods.
ERATO
Apollo, you make the sun shine. Daddy makes it rain. We-
A god walks by trying to get noticed by the girls.
ERATO
(to Clio)
Oh, don't you think he's cute?
CLIO
I have a boyfriend...
Terpsichore?
TERPSICHORE
Not my type. Can't carry a tune.
THALIA
Philippus is over there.
TERPSICHORE
He's got two left feet.
APOLLO
Girls, in addition to maintenance, we are supposed to be doing good deeds!
POLYHYMINA
(to Terpsichore)
You're always so picky.
MELPOMENE
We live in the heavens and you spend Saturday nights alone.
ERATO
Cupid and Venus can't even help you!
TERPSICHORE
I want someone special. Who can sing and dance up a storm. And I mean literally.
EUTERPE
You want to marry someone just like dear old dad.
TERPSICHORE
The problem with being divine is finding a boyfriend.
APOLLO
People, you are not listening to me! I want completed assignments!...Hello!
MERCURY
The problem with being a god is you could get away with throwing your brother into a live volcano...But he'd only climb out of it smiling.
Musical number begins, "THE PROBLEM WITH BEING A GOD."
TERPSICHORE
(singing)
LIVING IN THE CLOUDS AT THE END
OF THE RAINBOW.
THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE
FOR YOUR HEART TO FOLLOW.
(other sisters begin to harmonize in background)
TERPSICHORE
THE PROBLEM WITH BEING A GOD IS
TOMORROW IS FOREVER.
MAYBE IT'S NOT ENOUGH,
WILL I EVER, WILL I EVER,
FALL IN LOVE.
OTHER EIGHT SISTERS
IT'S VERY HARD, IT'S VERY HARD
TO FALL IN LOVE.
CHORUS
THE PROBLEM WITH BEING A GOD IS
IT'S VERY HARD TO FALL IN LOVE.
Some gods may begin to play their instruments: harps, flutes, mandolins and such. Naturally everyone sings well. (Mercury's voice is hard and raspy.) However it is the nine Muses who have distinctive voices. They sound like angels.
CHORUS
THE PROBLEM WITH BEING A GOD IS...
APOLLO
(speaking)
It can make you lazy.
CHORUS
THE GREAT THING ABOUT BEING A GOD IS...
MERCURY
IT CAN MAKE YOU LAZY.
OTHER EIGHT SISTERS
IT'S VERY HARD, IT'S VERY HARD...
TO FALL IN LOVE.
MERCURY
THE GREAT THING ABOUT BEING A GOD IS
YOU NEVER HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE.
MERCURY'S CHORUS
YOU NEVER HAVE, YOU NEVER HAVE
TO FALL IN LOVE.
APOLLO
People...There are two sides to every rainbow! There are mortals down there we should be worrying about!
TERPSICHORE
(naive, not stuck-up)
WHO HAS TIME TO CARE?
IT'S ONLY FAIR
'CAUSE WE'VE BEEN TOLD...
EUTERPE
THEY DON'T EVEN LIVE TO BE
A HUNDRED YEARS OLD.
Soon everyone joins into the act, the tempo picks up and it becomes a full-blown singing number with lots of dancing from the various god cliques. Several deities surround Terpsichore, while Mercury leads his gang in a routine.
CHORUS
WHO CARES ABOUT THE WORRIES OF THE MORTALS!
TERPSICHORE
WILL I EVER, WILL I EVER
FALL IN LOVE.
OTHER EIGHT SISTERS
IT'S VERY HARD, IT'S VERY HARD
TO FALL IN LOVE.
RANDOM GOD
THE GREAT THING ABOUT BEING A GOD IS
WE DON'T HAVE MORTAL DESIRES.
RANDOM GOD
(nods)
LOVE AND SENSITIVITY,
I SAY "WHAT ABSURDITY."
RANDOM GOD
(shakes head)
JUST ONCE WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO
FALL IN LOVE AND DREAM
THE WAY ALL MORTALS DO?
HALF CHORUS
NO! THE GREAT THING ABOUT BEING
A GOD IS YOU NEVER HAVE,
YOU NEVER HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE.
OTHER HALF
YES! THE PROBLEM WITH BEING A
GOD IS IT'S VERY HARD, IT'S VERY HARD TO FALL IN LOVE.
MERCURY
WHO CARES ABOUT THE WORRIES OF
THE MORTALS!
RANDOM GOD
SHOULDN'T WE, COULDN'T WE
HELP THE MORTALS?
RANDOM GOD
(shakes his heads)
EVERYONE KNOWS...
MERCURY
WE'RE GODS NOT HEROES!
Apollo was being a sport about it at first, but he doesn't believe important working hours should be spent performing. He begins to look at his watch and shake his head.
Apollo throws up his hands when what began as a ballad now becomes a wild scene from a music video, everybody line dancing. Hannibal of course is disgusted at all the attention the girls are getting. A couple of the Muses try to get him to join in and he pulls away. His assistants begin to sway and then dance, joining the chorus. Hannibal hits them over the head. They join in anyway.
Mercury grabs a microphone from his suitcase and swings it around wildly.
MERCURY
(rapping)
YO, REMEMBER LISTEN
GODS ARE NOT TO BE TRUSTED
LIKE A POLITICIAN
BUT WE CAN'T GET BUSTED!
HOW MUCH WOULD YOU TRY
IF YOU KNEW YOU COULDN'T DIE?
AND DEFY GRAVITY
NEVER GET A CAVITY
GODS CAN BE A MENACE
NEVER SEE A DENTIST
CAN'T GIVE US A SENTENCE
GODS
Mercury and a few of his best followers rip off their togas revealing black leather outfits. They take off their laurels and put on headbands, now looking like a heavy metal band. Mercury takes out a cordless electric guitar from his suitcase. He starts to wail on it.
MERCURY
DO YA WANNA BE A SLOB?
HIS CHORUS
YEAH!
MERCURY
NOT HAVE A JOB?
HIS CHORUS
YEAH!
MERCURY
THEN BE A GOD!
HIS CHORUS
YEAH!
CHORUS
WHO CARES ABOUT THE WORRIES OF THE MORTALS.
Most of the gods including all the sisters dig it as Mercury tries to bring down the house, going from Chuck Berry to Jimi Hendricks. Apollo is outraged that so many gods are violating the dress code. He blows a horn and yells into his cellular phone.
The GODS OF FASHION appear from nowhere blowing whistles. They begin to yank off head bands and baseball caps. Then they pick togas off the floor and try to drape them over Mercury and his group. Mercury loves this as he keeps playing while being chased around the stage. The Fashion Police chase them offstage. End of hard rock element.
The chorus and music becomes more tame again. Terpsichore looks to the sky and finishes the song.
TERPSICHORE
ALL I'VE EVER SEEN IS THE
END OF THE RAINBOW.
TOMORROW IS FOREVER.
MAYBE ITS NOT ENOUGH,
WILL I EVER, WILL I EVER
FALL IN LOVE.
Everyone claps, some gods high-five each other. The Muses blow kisses, spin and bow to everyone. Terpsichore does a leap and a spin and then an exaggerated bow, accidentally backing into Hannibal. The force of the bump knocks Hannibal to the floor, and he trips over his luggage. His magic vase filled with glitter spills to the floor and breaks.
The clapping stops cold. The other sisters see this and stop moving. Terpsichore has been too busy bowing and blowing kisses to notice. Hannibal gets back on his feet and starts pacing back and forth. His eyes are ablaze.
HANNIBAL
Now you've done it! My eight thousand year-old vase filled with fire...I melt mountains with that magic! You've destroyed it!
TERPSICHORE
Ah, sorry.
POLYHYMIA
I'm a goddess of crafts. Perhaps I could glue it back together?
HANNIBAL
You will pay!
(to Apollo)
I demand swift punishment!
APOLLO
Perhaps we could just wait till-
HANNIBAL
Where is their father? Wake up King Zeus this minute!
Mercury and his buddies reenter. They are again dressed more formally. Mercury agrees the girls should be punished and that King Zeus should be awakened. Half the crowd chants "wake him, punish them." While the other half are sympathetic and argue that a fuss shouldn't be made over an accident.
Hannibal takes out a megaphone and talks into it. His voice becomes amplified tenfold. The force of his breath almost knocks down the people near him.
HANNIBAL
(screaming)
ZEUS, I'M CALLING YOU TO COURT! WAKE UP YOU SOFT OLD THUNDERBOLT!
APOLLO
Now you know how King Zeus feels about being wakened.
RANDOM GOD
He's such a heavy sleeper.
Nothing wakes him up.
Hannibal makes some more smoke. He picks up a horn and blows into it. The sound is ear-piercing.
A moment later we hear crackling thunder and loud groans coming from backstage. We hear footsteps. The crowd gets out of the way knowing the almighty Zeus has been summoned and that he's not going to be happy. Still all the gods stick around to see what will happen. The chorus hums a few bars of his theme song.
Enter KING ZEUS. He is an ominous as well as comical sight to behold. He has magnificent hair and beard. Silver locks flow out from under a silk sleeping cap on his head. His gown is ornate and handsomely trimmed, but it is obviously a bathrobe. Despite being half asleep, he still has the appearance of power, of being somehow electrically charged. In one hand he carries a glowing thunderbolt.
The king has to be escorted by two assistants because over his eyes he still wears the black mask he went to sleep with. He slowly removes the mask, careful not to expose his eyes to too much sunlight.
APOLLO
Make way for the king, father of all, the honorable Zeus. And boy he looks-
ZEUS
(muttering)
Thunderation, Apollo, did you have to make it so bright today...Gray clouds please.
Zeus snaps his fingers and the lights dim a little. He snaps his finger again and a god brings him a clear goblet of orange juice. While he talks several gods fuss over him. They remove his cap, fix his hair, put on a crown, wrap him in his king's toga and replace his slippers with sandals.
The king is a complex character. He is a larger-than- life presence even among the gods. But he has lost some power and influence. He is a god grown old.
Zeus is still intelligent, but he can be a naive buffoon who uses his charm to deny he is out of touch. He is Reaganesque. Still, you can't help but be impressed by his elegant, dignified manner.
CLIO
Father, this terrible man wants to turn Terpsichore into a tree stump!
URANIA
She didn't mean to.
CALLIOPE
We'll fix it.
THALIA
Don't hurt her.
MERCURY
Sir, it was all the girls' fault. With all the music,
they just went wild!
RANDOM GOD
(this from a nine year-old)
Sir, I said it forty years ago. Mount Olympus is no place for rock and roll.
HANNIBAL
Zeus, my magic vase has been destroyed!
ZEUS
(rubbing eyes)
Why General Hannibal, I thought you'd perished.
ERATO
Father, can't you strike him with a lightning bolt?
CLIO
Perhaps make it rain inside his skull.
ZEUS
I will if I have to...
MERCURY
Careful, Pop. He's a powerful god of war and lightning doesn't fly from your fingertips like it used to.
HANNIBAL
(points to Terpsichore)
You're daughter broke my magic vase!
ZEUS
Terpsichore, was it your fault?
TERPSICHORE
Yes, but it was an-
HANNIBAL
(threatening)
Your job is to punish them!
TERPSICHORE
(upset)
Father-
ZEUS
(escorting daughters
off to the side)
Girls. Relax for a moment.
HANNIBAL
Zeus. Have you lost influence completely? Your domain has gotten run down. You look old.
The mortals don't even remember you.
RANDOM GOD
(holding a radio)
You would not believe the crime and hopelessness down below.
RANDOM GOD.
There's...
RANDOM GOD
Drugs, alcohol.
RANDOM GOD
Riots.
RANDOM GOD
Homelessness.
HANNIBAL
Isn't it marvelous?
ZEUS
Do you think I don't watch CNN? I can't be everywhere at once.
(mutters)
This planet wasn't designed to hold five billion people.
APOLLO
Sir, we haven't been paying attention! It's laziness!
HANNIBAL
(holding vase parts)
What are you going to do?!
ZEUS
(glances over to
his daughters)
Terpsichore, I love you, but I know you and your sisters have not been doing your chores.
HANNIBAL
Zeus, I demand that you turn them into goats this minute!
Mercury's followers ad-lib their own suggestions, "turn her into a rock." "Drag her from a chariot."
RANDOM GOD
Yes, make an example of them! Punish all nine of them!
A large number of people nod that a punishment is in order. Some gods, including Apollo and the sisters argue that they can't do it. Mercury and his gang chant hideous suggestions.
The gods begin to sound like a mob. Finally Zeus holds his thunderbolt over his head. Loud rolling thunder and crackling sounds. The lights blink off and on with flashes of lightning. The whole temple shakes.
ZEUS
SILENCE!!
Everyone becomes quiet. Even Mercury and Hannibal reluctantly respect his power and authority. He snaps his fingers and his assistants begin to prepare a document on parchment.
ZEUS
Take a memo. Under my authority as king of the gods, father of all, lord of the sky and so on...I hereby sentence all nine of my daughters to six weeks of community service...among the mortals.
(crowd reaction)
TERPSICHORE
But we've never lived among the mortals!
ZEUS
They will be transformed, rendered powerless. Subject to all human emotions and problems.
(crowd reaction)
ZEUS' ASSISTANT
(reading from a newspaper)
Let's see what we have here...Inner city schools. Problem children. Struggling single mothers. Disenchanted youths...
TERPSICHORE
Father, we can't live without power. Just punish me then.
ZEUS
(touches his daughter)
Terpsichore. We will find light work for your sisters, but you must be sent to some place dark and unforgiving. I'm sorry.
HANNIBAL
Folsom Prison is very lovely this time of year.
ZEUS
(sighs)
So be it. You shall be a prison counselor. Your job will be to cheer up inmates. Of all my children, you've always been the one with a sunny disposition.
Apollo reacts like a jealous brother. The assistants finish the document and give it to Zeus to sign. The girls plead. The two different camps chant and plead. Zeus signs. We hear a loud thunderclap. Hannibal looks to see that the document has been signed and is satisfied.
HANNIBAL
You've still got the power, old sport. Where's my housing assignment?
(Apollo hands it to him)
Well, I've got to go unpack. See that my elephants are fed.
MERCURY
(to Hannibal)
Hey, see ya at the race track.
With his nose in the air Hannibal snatches his housing assignment from Apollo and gathers up his belongings. He and his helpers exit.
MERCURY
He needs an extra elephant just to carry around his ego.
URANIA
Father you can't...
CALLIOPE
You wouldn't...
MELPOMENE
You couldn't...
ZEUS
I am sorry, but I am more than your father...
Zeus begins to sing that he is still "THE GOD OF THUNDER."
ZEUS
DO YOU NEED TO ASK ME WHY?
I'M FATHER OF ALL
AND LORD OF THE SKY.
CHORUS
HE IS THE GOD OF THUNDER.
ZEUS
I NO LONGER HAVE AN EASY SOLUTION
NOW EARTH IS COVERED WITH POLLUTION.
I KNOW ABOUT THE WORRIES OF
THE MORTALS.
CHORUS
WHO CARES ABOUT THE WORRIES OF
THE MORTALS.
More thunderclaps. Zeus begins to work the room as he sings. He can use his thunderbolt as a microphone. The chorus joins in the act. Lots of dancing all centering around him as if he is the star of a Las Vegas show. Some of the dance moves can be corny like an overdone lounge act. The nine Muses don't join in. They sit down in the background and pout.
CHORUS
HE IS THE GOD OF THUNDER
AND YOU MADE A BLUNDER.
YOU GOT A LOT TO LOSE.
HE'S RAIN MAKIN'
EARTH SHAKIN' ZEUS!
ZEUS
I AM THE GOD OF THUNDER.
I CHEW CLOUDS AND SPIT OUT LIGHTNING.
I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S THE RIGHT THING.
I DON'T MEAN TO DIS-PLACE
PEOPLE FROM THE HUMAN RACE.
BUT I SIMPLY CAN'T REFRAIN
FROM AN OCCASIONAL HURRICANE.
CHORUS
LATELY HE CAN'T SEEM TO STOP THE RAIN.
YOU GOT A LOT TO LOSE
WITH...
RAIN MAKIN'
EARTH SHAKIN'
ZEUS!
ZEUS
I AM THE GOD OF THUNDER!
Towards the end of the number Zeus summons more clouds and fog. Steady sounds of a thunder storm. He lines up his daughters and touches each of their foreheads, taking away their power. Darkness begins, the girls disappear into the fog as they are transformed to live among the mortals. The lights dim out.
END OF SCENE ONE.
ACT I, SCENE TWO - ISOLATED AREA - MORNING
The lights come back up. All the sisters except Terpsichore appear in the fog. The Muses find themselves in an abandoned lot, perhaps by a river. There are trees and bushes behind them. An old road sign and litter on the ground indicates that they are near the edge of a town. Because this is a short scene the background can be obscured by the fog.
The girls now have contemporary mortal clothing, including purses and notebooks. They are utterly disoriented and afraid. However as they look around they can't help but be curious and intrigued by the situation. Some more than others.
URANIA
Look at the sky, we're down below. It's still morning.
MELPOMENE
(negative)
This is dreadful.
EUTERPE
(positive)
Wow, we're dressed like career women.
THEIA
(modeling)
I'm scared but, you girls look wonderful. How do I look?
POLYHYMNIA
(reading notebook)
Look, we have IDs and appointments all set up.
CLIO
(reads appointment card)
I've got to go to a high school, I'm a career counselor.
ERATO
(reading her card)
I'm a social worker.
MELPOMENE
(looks at map)
Look, there's a road, we're right near town, let's go get our good deeds over with.
(she starts to leave)
URANIA
(looking through purse)
I don't know where I'm supposed to go yet. I'll meet up with you guys later.
EUTERPE
Okay, sisters, let's all meet right back here afterwards, then we'll try to find Terpsichore.
POLYHYMINA
These people are going to let us waltz right into their lives?
CLIO
Sure, mortals have so many darn problems they don't care who they talk to.
Seven of the Muses exit. Urania sighs and goes through her purse. Then she looks to the sky, enchanted. Blackout.
END OF SCENE TWO.
ACT I, SCENE THREE - PRISON - DAY
During the transition we hear the chorus softly singing "EVIL THINGS."
As the last of the fog dissipates the lights come up revealing a grim prison scene. The atmosphere is gloomy, gray and full of shadows. A stark contrast to the lovely backdrop of Mount Olympus.
A bell rings. We hear the sound of great iron doors sliding and slamming in the distance. PRISONERS with long faces begin to appear from every direction. As the striped inmates start to do their morning chores, they continue softly singing the song "EVIL THINGS."
They have mops, brooms and cleaning gear. They sullenly go about their duties, very slow and robot-like.
Everywhere there are frowning uniformed GUARDS. The guards can be humming along to the song--although they aren't fellow felons, they are also a part of this grim world. They sullenly swing their nightsticks and pace around, also very slow and machine-like. Since generally prisoners are of the same sex, perhaps the guards can be female.
CHORUS
(soft and slow)
OH, IT'S THOSE LITTLE, LITTLE EVIL THINGS THAT ARE THE MOST SPLENDID THINGS AROUND.
LIKE KNOTS IN SHOE LACES
KEYS LOST IN HARD TO REACH PLACES
MUD AND GRIM, WASTED TIME
RIPPED SEAMS - BAD DREAMS
LITTLE, LITTLE EVIL THINGS
The singing fades away. Terpsichore enters from stage right, being escorted by the stern SERGEANT GUARD. The Muse is dressed in civilian clothes, she has her hair up and wears glasses.
SERGEANT GUARD
(holding giant key chain)
You wait right here. You know, you look awfully young to be a psychologist for the prison youth authority.
(goes off to unlock door)
TERPSICHORE
I'm older than I look.
(under her breath)
By a few thousand years.
While Terpsichore is alone for a moment, she hears a "pssst!" She looks over and we see Apollo is mopping the floor near by. He tries to be disguised in a prison cap and stripes, but they look silly on his toga. Apollo is carrying an electronic notebook with him.
TERPSICHORE
(reacts to his costume)
How did you...?
APOLLO
Terpsichore. Can you believe just how slow these people are?...Hello. Listen, you can't use magic, but I can. I'm here to look after you.
(reading electronic notebook)
Your client is named Jason.
He claims he was set up, that he's innocent!
A few prisoners who are some distance away happen to overhear Apollo use the word "innocent."
RANDOM PRISONER
Innocent is he?...I thought I was the only one in here who had been framed.
RANDOM PRISONER
Really? Why, I'm innocent myself.
RANDOM PRISONER
You too? And I thought I was the only one.
Ad-lib lines of innocence spread throughout the inmate population. At first they are pretending to be sincere gentleman, then they bust out laughing in evil chuckles. Apollo sighs.
APOLLO
Jason has tried to kill himself. He's very depressed.
TERPSICHORE
So am I! How can I help him?
APOLLO
(with an attitude)
Dad always says you have a "sunny disposition."...Give him these.
Apollo opens his toga, bright light spills out from inside. He quickly pulls out a shoe box and hands it to her. He then speedily mops away. More iron door sounds. The guard reappears and the lights come on stage left. There is a small meeting room with a table and two chairs. A wall divides this room from the rest of the prisoners. Seated with his head down is a handsome young melancholy prisoner named JASON.
SERGEANT GUARD
Right this way Miss...
TERPSICHORE
(reading ID tag)
Johnson.
The guard exits. When Jason finally bothers to look up he is caught off guard by Terpsichore's beauty. When he catches himself being in a good mood for an instant, he puts his head down and goes back to mopping.
JASON
Who are you?
(head down)
I don't want to see anybody.
TERPSICHORE
Jason. Are you depressed?
JASON
Yes.
TERPSICHORE
Full of hate?
JASON
Yes.
TERPSICHORE
Full of anger, gloom and darkness?
JASON
Yes, yes, yes.
TERPSICHORE
Good, that makes two of us!
JASON
You're not stuck in here!
TERPSICHORE
(in his face)
I am for now!
(she looks away)
JASON
(sighs)
Oh, my god.
TERPSICHORE
(turning to answer)
Yes.
JASON
I thought you were supposed to cheer me up!
TERPSICHORE
Sorry, I'm not used to emotions like this--anger, gloom and darkness.
(reading file)
So, you got kicked out the army...You've always wanted to be a dancer.
JASON
I can't dance!
TERPSICHORE
You are defensive, emotional...
JASON
I wish I was dead.
TERPSICHORE
(sunny disposition)
Did I tell you I was a dancer?
JASON
Now I wish you were dead too.
TERPSICHORE
When I'm feeling down I think nice sunny thoughts. Rainbows, golden sunsets, gentle waterfalls...
JASON
Steel bars, chains, rust. Slime on walls, wet newspapers...Those are a few of my favorite things.
TERPSICHORE
(begins to sing)
YOU'VE GOT TO KEEP YOU'RE SUNNY
DISPOSITION...JASON.
IN ANY SITUATION.
She sings "SUNNY DISPOSITION." Although Jason tries to pout he is enthralled by her lovely voice.
TERPSICHORE
YOUR SUNNY DISPOSITION.
WHATEVER YOUR CONDITION
YOU'VE GOT TO KEEP YOUR
SUNNY DISPOSITION.
JASON
But I'm in prison!
TERPSICHORE
(shakes her head and smiles)
YOUR SUNNY DISPOSITION.
Suddenly the wall slides away and the rest of the inmates join in. Terpsichore lets her hair down, removes her glasses and dances while the chorus sings. Jason is awestruck, but won't admit it. At first the inmates sing and dance slow and methodical.
This song can overlap with the inmates singing verses from "Evil Things" during certain parts.
CHORUS
(still frowning)
WHATEVER YOUR CONDITION
KEEP YOUR SUNNY DISPOSITION
Terpsichore nods and does some dance moves.
TERPSICHORE
IT DON'T MATTER WHO YOU ARE,
WHAT YOU DO
THE SUN AIN'T ALWAYS GONNA SHINE ON YOU.
YOU'RE THE ONE, THE ONLY ONE
THAT'LL GET YOU THROUGH
YOU CAN ALWAYS BE STRONG
IF YOU BRING YOUR SUNNY DISPOSITION ALONG.
Jason starts to smile. He begins to sing along, but he is the only one who refuses to also dance along. As Terpsichore works the room, they all begin to smile, cheer up and dance swiftly with grace. Some new prisoners enter, they are shackled together and are dancing like a rattling chorus line.
JASON
(shows serial number)
WHATEVER YOUR SITUATION?
RANDOM GUARD
OR STATION?
RANDOM INMATE
OR POSITION?
TERPSICHORE
AND CHORUS
KEEP YOUR SUNNY DISPOSITION!
RANDOM INMATE
BUT WHAT ABOUT...
CHICKEN POX, HOLES IN SOCKS,
A WEEK OF DETENTION
OH, I HAVE SO MANY
NOT TO MENTION
I'M DOING 10 TO 20!
RANDOM GUARD
LOW PAY, LONG SHIFTS
DARK DAY, THE FELONS MIX
ALL WE HAVE ARE NIGHTSTICKS
(Terpsichore shakes her head and smiles)
RANDOM INMATE
COLD SHOWERS, TERRIBLE HOURS
HOT CELLS, HE SMELLS
(points to fellow inmate)
TERPSICHORE
I DON'T NEED A DESCRIPTION.
I'VE TOLD YOU THE PRESCRIPTION.
(signals chorus)
CHORUS
TAKE YOUR SUNNY DISPOSITION ALONG!
RANDOM INMATE
WHAT IF YOU'RE WRONG?...
SOFT HEAD, NOTHING TO DO HARD BREAD ON THE TABLE
AND DO I NEED TO TELL YOU
WE GOT NO CABLE!
All the inmates begin call or sing out a host of different frustrating situations (ad-libbed) at the same time. It builds to an angry climax of major inconveniences. They get in each other's faces. Until Terpsichore grabs a Guard's whistles and blows, silencing them before a riot starts.
TERPSICHORE
(firm)
THE SUN'S NOT SUPPOSED TO ALWAYS SHINE ON YOU!
(looking into Jason's eyes)
YOU'RE THE ONE, THE ONLY ONE
THAT'LL GET YOU THROUGH.
JASON AND TERPSICHORE
YOU CAN ALWAYS BE STRONG
IF YOU TAKE YOUR SUNNY DISPOSITION ALONG.
Suddenly a buzzer goes off, the prisoners freeze. The Sergeant Guard reenters.
SERGEANT GUARD
Okay, break it up! Visiting time is over. It's lunch time.
(smiles to Terpsichore)
Come back soon, young lady, I've never seen these boys move so fast!
The prisoners reluctantly begin to exit. They wave, say goodbye and thank Terpsichore. The Sergeant Guard ushers them out. Jason is at the end of the line to leave, everyone else still has a smile on their face except him. Terpsichore catches him before he exits.
TERPSICHORE
Jason, wasn't that fun?
JASON
(back to being glum)
You're a wonderful girl. But I'm innocent and being happy for a moment only makes being trapped in here more painful.
She picks up the shoe box, opens it and presents Jason with a pair of shiny dancing shoes.
TERPSICHORE
Jason, there is magic in this world. Here.
JASON
I can't dance!
TERPSICHORE
Promise me you'll hang on one more day.
JASON
(sighs)
I promise.
Another buzzer goes off. Jason takes the shoes and hurries away. Terpsichore is somewhat in a daze. All that dancing has worn her out now that she is subject to human stamina. Apollo walks up eating a prison sandwich.
APOLLO
Yuk, these people have to live on this stuff.
TERPSICHORE
Did you hear his lovely voice, did you see the pain in his eyes?
APOLLO
Are you okay?
TERPSICHORE
I'm out of breath, I'm hungry.
(she takes sandwich from him)
APOLLO
Oh, I forgot, now you're subject to mortal passions, like fatigue and hunger.
(hands her an envelop)
Here, I booked you at a hotel near by.
TERPSICHORE
(pinches his cheek)
Thank you, sunny boy.
She quickly exits still acting lightheaded and humming "Sunny Disposition." The lights dim out except for a spotlight on Apollo. He shakes his head and addresses the audience.
APOLLO
Oh, you mortal people. She didn't even ask about her sisters...Let me fill you in.
Apollo takes out his electronic notebook and pushes buttons to trace the other Muses. He will use his magic to show the audience where they are.
APOLLO
All the Muses are close by. Three are at the same school...
Theia has been assigned to a troubled teenager who's ready to drop out of school...
(snaps fingers)
SCENE FOUR:
SEVEN VIGNETTES OF MUSES WITH CLIENTS:
By snapping his fingers Apollo will control the lighting of these seven mini-scenes.
SCENE 4-A. Spotlight dims on Apollo. Another spotlight appears on the other side of the stage on Theia who is with a teenager named NATALIE. Natalie is dressed in colorful radical-looking clothes, she chews gum and fidgets, not paying attention to Theia.
THEIA
(reading file)
Let's see...You have good grades, but you're always in detention for disrupting class.
NATALIE
Who are you, a new counselor?
THEIA
You took a can of shaving cream and sprayed a large pile of it on your teacher's chair. Why?
NATALIE
'cause he's a nerd from polyesterville!
(beaming with pride)
He didn't see it, when he sat in it, it didn't make a sound.
Theia is amused. Natalie mimes a nerdy teacher sitting down, then standing up and writing on a chalk board.
NATALIE
He walks to the chalk board and there's this fluffy mountain of white foam following behind him...Finally he looks right at me and says,
(mimicking teacher)
"Natalie, that's not funny!"
(giggling)
So all I said was "Mr. Hanson, if it's not funny, how come we're laughing so hard our eyes are watering!"
(using irony)
Next thing I'm sent here without lunch. They're going to impound my locker and take away my textbook privileges.
THEIA
You think you're cute?
NATALIE
(nods and smiles)
I'm old enough to drop out. (James Cagney)
There ain't a principal's office made strong enough to keep me in, see, I'll bust outta here see.
THEIA
(reading her file)
I used to think I was cute too...till I ended up here with you in this dump!
She goes nose to nose with Natalie who is finally intimated.
End of 4-A. Back to Apollo.
APOLLO
Now Euterpe is to assigned to a troubled kid who refuses to say a single word.
(snaps fingers)
4-B) Light comes up on Euterpe and EMILY, a withdrawn kid with angelic look. Euterpe is holding a guitar.
EUTERPE
Your teachers say you're a good student, but haven't spoken in years.
(Emily shrugs)
How do you do oral reports?
Emily sighs and makes gestures with her hands.
EUTERPE
Charades?
(Emily nods)
Well, I know a secrete. You have a lovely voice.
(Emily shakes her head)
And I know you can sing. When no one else is around.
(Emily tries to grab her file)
You see, I'm not from the school district, I'm a goddess.
(Emily laughs silently)
We get secret reports. When you're alone out walking in the woods, you sing like an angel.
Emily is upset someone knows her secret. Euterpe begins to play the guitar trying to coax Emily to sing. Emily refuses.
End of 4-B. Back to Apollo.
APOLLO
As for Clio, she is going to help out an adult. A high school history teacher who is ready to quit his job.
(snaps fingers)
4-C) Spotlight on Clio and JOHN. John is somewhat nerdy-looking and seems very uptight. He is wearing polyester clothes that were popular among high school teachers in the '70s.
JOHN
Then you know what they did? All the kids in my class started to roar with laughter...at me! Except for one sweet kid named Emily, she never makes a sound. She laughs like this.
(he laughs silently)
CLIO
But you were drawing a cartoon of Abraham Lincoln on the chalk board. You said you wanted it to be funny.
JOHN
I had barely started! I thought the lemon-lime I smelled was a new cleaning disinfectant used by the janitors. Then I find that my entire backside is covered with shaving cream! The little twits.
CLIO
(can't help but giggle)
Doesn't it come out of polyester?...John, you need to loosen up. First of all, you'd get more respect if you stopped dressing like a nerd.
JOHN
(offended)
What? Who are you?
CLIO
Listen, teenagers don't care about history. They care about clothes. Let's go to the mall. I've got an expense account.
JOHN
I've never been to the mall! I might see one of them.
CLIO
You've got to respect them before they can respect you.
She gets her purse and grabs his arm pulling him away.
End of 4-C. Back to Apollo.
APOLLO
(reacting to Clio's methods)
Oh, my word...Calliope is working with a single mother who wants to put her baby up for adoption. She's given up on life. I hope Calliope doesn't try to take her to the mall.
(snaps fingers)
4-D) Lights on Calliope and Melissa. Melissa is dressed, tending to an infant in a stroller. She is very angry and bitter about life.
CALLIOPE
(reading)
The father left you with all these bills. And now you have to work one job to be able to buy food and another to pay for child care...Is eating really that important to you mortals?
MELISSA
What?
CALLIOPE
I said "eating is really important for your morals."
MELISSA
I don't want morals, I don't want to be a mother. I want to try to be a writer.
CALLIOPE
No. You had promise as a writer, but you gave up on school. Don't give up on life.
MELISSA
I'm not!
CALLIOPE
Not your life, his life
(points to child)
MELISSA
Why can't you just put me on welfare?
CALLIOPE
You're able-bodied. Why are you so angry?
MELISSA
My generation got a raw deal! It used to be easy for anybody to collect welfare.
CALLIOPE
Maybe you just need friends, a roommate who can help baby-sit...With a little bit of hope you can realize your dreams
MELISSA
I can tell you grew up a rich spoiled girl. Talk is cheap.
CALLIOPE
Hope is free.
MELISSA
I hate the world. What planet are you from?
End of 4-D. Back to Apollo.
APOLLO
Now we find Melpomene, she's working with a young architect who's not snooty, he's just looking for a break.
4-E) Melpomene and REGE. Rege is not bitter, he's a charming, alert young man who's well dressed in a conservative suit. He is showing Melpomene blueprints for a building. Remember Melpomene is the one who can be bitter, she's negative about everything.
REGE
There is a courtyard here, a kitchen, plenty of office space without pretentiousness.
MELPOMENE
Attractive, but it seems so simple.
REGE
I thought the county wanted simple but attractive office buildings.
MELPOMENE
(reading file)
There've been so many cutbacks on public funds.
REGE
I know, that's why I can't find a job. I was hoping you would commission me and use my plans.
MELPOMENE
You just graduated from a top architectural school...Why can't you find a job?
REGE
(suspects she's a phony)
The economy. Speaking of buildings? I think I'm in the wrong one?
Rege stands up to leave.
End of 4-E. Back to Apollo.
APOLLO
Oh, girl, hello...Sister Polyhymnia has met a songwriter whose parents don't support her.
(snaps fingers)
4-F) Polyhymia and COLLEEN. Colleen is bright and energetic. Dresses like a preppie college student.
COLLEEN
Then my parents see that I'm majoring in music. My father starts yelling. "How can you become a doctor, like me, without any science classes!?"
...So I say I want to be a songwriter. My mother starts crying. "All those years in private school down the drain."
POLYHYMIA
(reads file)
And now they refuse to pay your tuition.
COLLEEN
That's why I'm asking for financial aid.
POLYHYMIA
Colleen, you live at home, you're 18 and you own a 22 thousand dollar convertible.
COLLEEN
I'm a really good song writer.
I deserve all the handouts I can get.
POLYHYMIA
And I used to think I was spoiled.
COLLEEN
You don't know what it's like having a father who thinks he's god!
End of 4-F. Back to Apollo.
APOLLO
(chuckling)
How 'bout a god who think's he's a father?...Let's see, Erato has been sent to help out a poet in the middle of a life crises.
4-G) The lights turn to Erato and GAYLEEN. Gayleen is a hip gal who looks like a 50s beatnik.
GAYLEEN
Man, all you cats are a bunch of goddesses? That's a crazy tale!
ERATO
We tell people because we know no one will believe us.
GAYLEEN
I believe! You come from the heavens to rap with me? I was so down till you showed up with all this wild talk!
ERATO
Gayleen, I don't want you to give up on being a poet. Don't feel trapped in a world that is so big, so wide open to new things.
GAYLEEN
Yeah, and I was thinking about going back to being a stockbroker.
ERATO
That's for squares, baby! Follow your dreams!
GAYLEEN
(composing as she recites)
The corporate world dissin' the creative souls
Pickin' at rainbows, leaving holes
Trapped within the world of suits,
dreams stepped on by lawyers in cahoots.
Two cars, a white picket fence
I say be free, that makes sense.
The world is running out of creative gas
I say live before you need a four-way bypass.
END OF SCENE 4-G. Back to Apollo.
APOLLO
That is wild, man, crazy...One sister left, Urania, I can't find her. I forgot to make a file for her. If I didn't have to do everything myself!...Well, I've got to get back out there and shine.
END OF SCENE FOUR AND ALPHABET SCENES.
APOLLO
That is wild, man, crazy...One sister left, Urania, I can't find her. I forgot to make a file for her. If I didn't have to do everything myself!...Well, I've got to get back out there and shine.
END OF SCENE FOUR AND ALPHABET SCENES.
ACT I, SCENE FIVE - ISOLATED AREA - AFTERNOON
We now see the isolated area clear of fog. Despite some trash the old overgrown lot has charm. Urania sits on a fallen tree. She looks bored and depressed--she has been sitting there alone for hours. She throws down her purse and begins to shed a few tears.
Out of the blue comes ALLEN. He is a homeless man toting a knapsack and a couple of giant rattling bags of aluminum cans. Despite ragged clothes, Allen does not have the sad appearance of desperation of some of his kind. He seems a virile outdoorsman waiting for his luck to change.
ALLEN
Excuse me, Miss...
(she ignores him and
continues whimpering)
Ah, there is a law in this town about crying in public...I might have to turn you in.
URANIA
(got her attention)
We're out in the middle of nowhere, and who is going to listen to you?
ALLEN
Jeez, I was trying to cheer ya up! You seemed down on your luck, but what would I know about that subject.
(he begins to leave)
URANIA
(jumping up)
I'm sorry...I don't know where I'm supposed to go, so I stayed here, I'm not used to being so alone.
ALLEN
A fancy gal like you might be surprised to find we got names. Mine's Allen.
URANIA
(shakes his hand)
I'm Urania.
ALLEN
Can I go call ya a cab or something?
URANIA
No, thank you, I'm waiting for my sisters.
ALLEN
You look drawn, did you eat today?
URANIA
No, is that why I'm a little dizzy?
ALLEN
(looks at sky)
It's near four o'clock! Going without food will make ya testy if you're not used to it.
URANIA
(looks at watch)
How'd you know what time it is?
Allen takes off his knapsack, pulls out some food and sets up a camping stove.
ALLEN
By the location of the sun. I've always
been fond of the sun and the stars.
URANIA
(delighted)
Really? I'm the goddess of astronomy.
ALLEN
I'm the prince of Sheba. I better get some food in you before you tell me you know the moon personally.
URANIA
Oh, he's a brat.
Blackout. END OF SCENE FIVE.
ACT I, SCENE SIX - ISOLATED AREA - DUSK
The sun is beginning to set. All the sisters except Terpsichore have met up with Urania and their new friend Allen. Sitting on spread-out sleeping bags, they are just finishing a hearty meal Allen prepared for them on his stove. They are having a good time. Slowly the stars begin to flicker.
EUTERPE
Allen, that was delicious.
URANIA
It's amazing how much food we bought with money for cans that people had thrown away.
CALLIOPE
This guy is really a good cook.
THIEA
How did he know we like Greek food?
MELPOMENE
(to Allen)
Why are you, you know...?
ALLEN
Heck, I used to work in a restaurant. I got fired.
POLYHYNMIA
How come?
ALLEN
You see, I used to get free drinks from the bar and they wanted a chef that could stand up... Well, I've been sober now quite a while. Soon as I make enough money to get some new clothes, I'll get a good job.
URANIA
Look, Allen, the stars are coming out.
THALIA
Where are we going to stay tonight?
URANIA
It's a warm night, we're used to camping out. Allen says lots of people come here to sleep.
(a few of the girls are hesitant)
ALLEN
Sure, I got some blankets stashed, then with a little cardboard...
EUTERPE
Well, Apollo did tell us not to wander too far off. Terpsichore might meet us here.
ALLEN
I'm looking forward to meeting that brother of yours. Can't say that I've ever expected to shake hands with the Sun. But ya know, the stars, sometimes I feel like the stars are my only friends...Now and again I swear I can hear them singing to me.
Allen steps away from the others and takes the night in. The song "STARS" begins. This is the song that the offstage chorus sang during the opening with slight lyrical changes.
ALLEN
STARS, AT DUSK I SEE YOU
SMILING, STARS.
THE SUN IS MOODY,
GET HIM OFF DUTY, STARS
I LIVE UNDER THE STARS
MY ONLY FRIENDS ARE YOU
WHAT WOULD BECOME OF ME,
WITHOUT THE SEA OF STARS.
I'VE MADE MISTAKES, BUT STARS
I MEAN SOMETHING, STARS
I AM STILL SOMEONE, STARS
I AM STILL HERE!
I STILL COUNT!
STARS, TAKE ME AS I AM
I'M NOT JUST A RAGGED MAN.
Homeless people of all types begin to enter from every direction, humming the song. These people, forced to carry everything they own with them, set up camp for the night. They unload shopping carts, roll out sleeping bags and build shelters out of blankets and cardboard. The Muses are welcomed in their group and so are not afraid. But the once-pampered deities are taken aback by the reality of looking into these people's faces, especially the children's.
CHORUS
STARS, WHAT WILL BECOME OF ME?
WHAT WILL BECOME OF US?
STARS, WE LOVE YOU
BUT STARS, WE CAN'T LIVE FOREVER
UNDER STARS.
The mood picks up a bit when rows of singing and tap dancing stars appear in the background as the night gets darker.
STARS
STARS, WE ARE SMILING, NEVER WHINING, ALWAYS SHINNING STARS.
HOMELESS CHORUS
YOU ARE BLINKING, EVER WINKING
STARS! NEVER ENDING, ALWAYS FRIENDLY WHILE WE'RE CAMPING, STARS.
RANDOM HOMELESS
STARS, I'M GLAD YOU'RE NEAR ME,
BUT STARS, THIS IS NOT THE ARMY.
OR A WEEKEND CAMPOUT,
DO I LOOK LIKE A BOY SCOUT, STARS.
Some homeless people shake off their exposure blues, they regain some dignity and politely ask each other to dance. Lots of bowing and such. They waltz around as if they were at a grand ball.
RANDOM HOMELESS
STARS, DON'T WANNA HURT YOUR FEELINGS
BUT STARS, WE'D RATHER LOOK AT CEILINGS.
All the homeless line up in a row to sing the final lyrics. It is as if they are joined together, asking the night sky outside to help them so that one day they may come inside.
HOMELESS CHORUS
STARS,
WE'VE MADE MISTAKES, BUT STARS
WE CAN'T LIVE FOREVER
UNDER STARS
WE MEAN SOMETHING, STARS
WE'RE STILL SOMEONE, STARS
WE'RE STILL HERE!
WE STILL COUNT!
STARS, TAKE US SOMEWHERE
WE MEAN SOMETHING
'CAUSE WE CAN'T LIVE FOREVER-
HOW MUCH LONGER?-UNDER STARS
Black out. END OF SCENE SIX.
ACT I, SCENE SEVEN - MOUNT OLYMPUS - DAY
Back to Mount Olympus, but not to the temple of the Gods. This area is a little off the beaten track. It is the recreation area where the more seedy of the gods hang out. There are a few columns, but the grounds are not as elaborate.
We see a number of gods in little groups, some are playing cards or a game of darts. Mercury and his gang are kneeling on the ground engaged in a rowdy game of dice.
On the other side of the stage from Mercury, Hannibal is lounging around with a few other gods, laughing and telling stories. The nasty god of war has a huge drink with an umbrella in it. He is in the middle of telling a story.
RANDOM GOD
Hey, Mercury hurry up, roll!
MERCURY
(blowing on dice)
Are you in some kind of rush? You have a job or something?
(he laughs and rolls)
Lucky seven!
(adlib reactions)
RANDOM GOD
Okay, Hannibal, how big was the sea monster you wrestled?
HANNIBAL
Bigger than my elephants!
MERCURY
(Hannibal doesn't hear him)
Not as big as your head.
HANNIBAL
Just a pinch of fire dust and he melted until I could swallow him whole.
(a few laugh, others say "how gross")
RANDOM GOD
What will you do that now that your magic vase is broken?
HANNIBAL
My magic vase is unbreakable, you idiot...I bought the one I broke yesterday on the home shopping show.
RANDOM GOD
Why'd you do that?
HANNIBAL
(looks around, whispers)
I want my stay here to be peaceful, those darn Muses with all their talk about hope and sunshine and sweetness...
RANDOM GOD
Tell us, what do you like, Hannibal?
HANNIBAL'S ASSISTANT
Oh, he likes war and hardship. But especially those little bad things that happen to mortals in life.
HANNIBAL
(preforming, but
not yet singing)
Yes, like knots in shoe laces,
keys lost in hard to reach places.
HANNIBAL'S ASSISTANT
No cash - out of gas,
gum in hair - no carfare.
A cardiologist with a broken heart.
Just where do you want me to start?
Hannibal begins to sing, "EVIL THINGS." It is the same song that the prisoners were singing at the beginning of the prison scene. Except now the song is sung with more flair.
At some point during the song Mercury uses his cellular phone and places a call.
HANNIBAL
SOMETIMES I'M AN EVIL MAN
I'M JUST DOING WHAT I CAN
TO BRING OUT THE DARKNESS
THAT IS PART OF ALL OF US.
HANNIBAL'S ASSISTANTS
RIPPED SEAMS - BAD DREAMS,
LITTLE, LITTLE EVIL THINGS.
HANNIBAL
I HAVE FOUND...IT'S THE LITTLE, LITTLE EVIL THINGS THAT ARE THE MOST SPLENDID THINGS AROUND.
RANDOM GOD
How about this if you please,
it's 100 degrees...and no shade?
HANNIBAL
Marvelous.
RANDOM GOD
A rainstorm during a parade?
HANNIBAL
Fabulous.
RANDOM GOD
Mud all over a white dress?
HANNIBAL
Oh, that's the best!
(he begins to prance around)
OH, IT'S THE LITTLE, LITTLE EVIL THINGS THAT ARE THE MOST SPLENDID THINGS AROUND.
RANDOM GOD
Would you admire...a flat tire?
(Hannibal shrugs)
RANDOM GOD
A flat spare?
RANDOM GOD
In the middle of nowhere?
Hannibal's eyes light up he nods, while he prances around.
CHORUS
OH, IT'S THOSE LITTLE, LITTLE EVIL THINGS THAT ARE THE MOST SPLENDID THINGS AROUND.
HANNIBAL
MORTALS ARE SO MUCH FUN I SAY
I WATCH THEM SQUIRM ON TAX DAY.
HANNIBAL ASSISTANT
CHICKEN POX - HOLES IN SOCKS
COLD SHOWERS - TERRIBLE HOURS.
ANOTHER ASSISTANT
TELL ME WHAT YOU SAY IS THIS?
WHILE GODS DON'T EVEN PAY TAXES!
The Dancing chorus is similar to the prisoners, they are slow and methodical, while Hannibal's moves are fast and unpredictable.
HANNIBAL
RIPPED SEAMS - BAD DREAMS
LITTLE, LITTLE EVIL THINGS.
Towards the end of the number, suddenly the lights blink, thunderclaps. The grand King Zeus appears. He looks a little grumpy. On the belt to his robe is an electronic pager.
HANNIBAL
(surprised)
Why, Zeus, you never come to this part of the mountain!
ZEUS
(holding pager)
Well, who was it that paged me just now?
MERCURY
It was I. We gotta have a chat pop, a father and son thing.
Mercury puts his arm around Zeus and escorts him offstage.
ZEUS
(yawns)
Hurry up, I've got to take my afternoon nap.
END OF SCENE SEVEN.
ACT I, SCENE EIGHT - PRISON - NEXT MORNING
Back to the prison scene. There are only a handful of inmates doing chores. Today they are cheerful, whistling and humming "Sunny Disposition" as they work.
In the forefront Jason and Terpsichore are in the middle of their visit. Terpsichore is bursting with energy, Jason is still despondent but he enjoys Terpsichore's company. Jason has brought his magic shoes, but he's not wearing them. Terpsichore has brought a portable stereo. They are sitting close together, the chemistry is brewing. She says something that makes him smile.
TERPSICHORE
There, keep smiling, you have such perfect teeth.
JASON
That's because I used to be...
TERPSICHORE
What?
JASON
I used to be special, kind of a golden boy.
TERPSICHORE
Then why don't you think you could learn to dance?
JASON
In case you noticed, I lost everything!
(she takes the shoes and stabs them at him)
TERPSICHORE
(firm)
Put on the shoes I gave you!
JASON
All the guys will laugh.
TERPSICHORE
(singing)
I WISH YOU TO BE ALL YOU HOPE TO BE,
DON'T MOPE, DANCE WITH ME.
He reluctantly puts on the shoes. Terpsichore turns on the portable stereo and begins to do some warm-up dance moves. She begins to sing "WISH LIST-BABY KISS. Jason stands up but doesn't move. The wall slides away.
TERPSICHORE
(she signals the inmates)
Fellas?
INMATE CHORUS
DANCE, YOU ARE READY
TAKE A CHANCE WITH THE LADY
AND DANCE.
TERPSICHORE
(as if she is putting
a spell on his shoes)
WISH LIST-BABY KISS
DANCEN-CHANCEN-JIBBERISH
MAGIC-SAGIC-ABBRAKALAGIC
RULES-BLUES-USE THE SHOES!
Jason takes her hand and they begin to waltz while the chorus sings or hums. At first he is awkward, almost stumbling, but as he looks down and sees that his shoes are possessing him, he lets go. Terpsichore breaks loose and does a spin, then encourages him to to the same.
JASON
(amazed)
WISH LIST-BABY KISS
DANCEN-CHANCEN-JIBBERISH?
INMATE CHORUS
YOU GOT TO TRY TO BE,
ALL YOU WISH TO BE.
TOOK A CHANCE WITH THE LADY
NOW YOU DANCE WITH THE LADY
YOU SEE.
The chorus of prisoners may sway and dance in the darkened background, but their presence is never dominating. The singing is secondary here, this is primarily an instrumental and dancing number. Jason and Terpsichore tell a story with body language. They rarely take their eyes off each other. By the end of the number it is obvious that they have fallen in love.
JASON
DIDN'T THINK I WAS READY,
NOW YOU ARE SUCH A LADY TO ME.
TERPSICHORE AND JASON
WE'VE GOT TO BE ALL WE WISH TO BE
DON'T STOP DANCING, DANCING
WITH ME.
The number ends. They are in each other's arms, face to face and star-crossed. Jason leans in to kiss Terpsichore when suddenly enters SERGEANT GUARD.
SERGEANT
Hey, hey, visiting time is over!
(they step apart, both blushing)
TERPSICHORE
I've got to run. Aren't you glad you held on one more day?
JASON
I'll hang on every day as long as you keep visiting me.
SERGEANT GUARD
(taking Jason's arm)
We are not gonna have flirting going on in here, move it. Come on boys.
Jason is escorted away by the guard, the rest of the prisoners follow. Terpsichore is now alone, the reality of her predicament sets in. Her eyes well up with tears.
TERPSICHORE
(sings slowly)
NOW I KNOW ABOUT THE WORRIES OF THE MORTALS.
OFFSTAGE CHORUS
THE PROBLEM WITH BEING A GOD IS...
TERPSICHORE
NOW I GOT TO SEE THE DARK SIDE
OF THE RAINBOW.
I'VE BEEN LIVING ON A WHIM
NOW WILL I EVER, WILL I EVER
STOP LOVING HIM.
She is surprised to see fog begin to envelope the stage. Sounds of lighting and thunder. She disappears into the fog.
END OF ACT I
ACT II
ACT II, SCENE ONE, TEMPLE OF THE GODS - DAY
Terpsichore and all her sisters have been summoned back to King Zeus' court. Zeus is sitting on his throne, a few assistants are near by. Also present are Mercury and Apollo. They have all been talking. It is as if the audience has been left out of the proceedings.
APOLLO
(to audience)
You'll have to excuse us, when Zeus decided to summon the girls back here, he went too fast, the time continuum was thrown out of whack...Oh, listen to this. Dad found out that that geek Hannibal had set the Muses up! He wanted them to break his two dollar vase so they wouldn't be around during his vacation here.
ZEUS
(waving thunderbolt)
I, father of all and Lord of the sky...apologize.
CLIO
Thank you, Dad, but how did you hear that Hannibal was bragging about setting us up?
ZEUS
Mercury overheard him. He paged me the minute it happened.
MERCURY
(directed at Apollo)
See, I'm not all bad. Now, I'm not saying I have a "sunny disposition" like they do...but...
Apollo again reacts like a jealous brother, knowing Mercury knows just what to say to get his goat.
APOLLO
(to Mercury)
Maybe if I had time to sing and dance, but no...I'm out there every day glowing away while you're rolling dice and selling-
ZEUS
Boys!
(Mercury walks away snickering)
ZEUS
(again waving thunderbolt)
I hereby revoke your sentences and return you to active god status granting you full powers.
The girls hold hands and make a circle around him, he takes their hands and instantly his electricity travels through all of them, transforming them back into gods. Lights, thunder etc. They are happy and thank him. They form a huddle, then come up with a decision.
MELPOMENE
Father, we've decided we want to finish our assignments.
ZEUS
What?
THAIA
We were starting to make progress.
EUTERPE
They trusted us!
URANIA
We promised them hope, how can we just disappear?
ZEUS
Very well.
(snaps fingers, assistants prepare document)
APOLLO
(looking at electronic notebook)
Father, let me. Several days have passed down there.
(all the girls are concerned about their clients)
POLYHYMNIA
How did that happen?
APOLLO
Dad doesn't understand the principals of global tele-transportation, there was a rip in the fabric of time. I can get you back before too much more time passes.
ZEUS
In my day, all we used was a flying chariot.
APOLLO
When was the last time you even took out your flying chariot?
ZEUS
Just the other day, maybe 1870.
APOLLO
Girls, I tell you what. I've got enough magic left to make your clients all meet where you landed the first time. Hold hands...Hurry up, my batteries are low.
The girls all hold hands. Apollo punches buttons on his magic electronic notebook. Some magic sounds and a bright flash of light before black out.
END OF SCENE ONE, ACT II.
ACT TWO, SCENE TWO - ISOLATED AREA - DAY
All the girls, including Terpsichore, have been transferred to the lot on the edge of town. All of their clients, with the exception of Jason, gradually walk into the scene. First to enter is the formerly homeless Allen and the single mother Melissa. She is pushing her baby carriage. Allen has new clothes and he is well groomed. As everyone enters Allen goes out of his way to shake their hands.
ALLEN
Hello girls, it's Allen.
(to Melissa)
I told you something was up. We got this voice in our heads telling us to come here.
URANIA
You're all cleaned up!
ALLEN
Yes, I want to thank you for introducing me to Melissa. And telling her to believe in me, she took me in for awhile.
MELISSA
I had an extra bedroom. This man can sure cook and he helps babysit. I've started writing again.
CALLIOPE
That's wonderful!
MELISSA
(still bitter)
But what happened to you? I started to put my baby up for adoption, Allen talked me out of it. I thought you were going to be there for me?
John enters, he is dressed very trendy and talks less like a nerd, although by his mannerisms he is working a little too hard to try to be hip.
JOHN
Hey gals, what's up? What's the business?
CLIO
How's teaching, are your students behaving?
JOHN
(nods)
I decided to stick it out. First day, with the new duds all the kids did was make fun of me even more for trying to be hip. I almost clobbered the twits...Then...
CLIO
What did you do?
JOHN
I sat down and we all talked. Not about history, about life, being a kid, being a teacher. It turns out I'm the one who's a twit. And I found out I wasn't the only one who had a strange visitor.
Enter Emily, the lovely singer who refuses to talk followed by Colleen, the spoiled songwriter. Followed by Gayleen, the beatnik poet.
ERATO
Gayleen, how are you?
GAYLEEN
(happy)
What's shakin' sisters? I told you they were like magic chicks from Mount Olympus.
(to John)
Now can you dig that daddyo?
JOHN
(he nods)
Don't you just love how she talks? Some kids in the class dragged me to a poetry reading she held. It was a gas.
NATALIE
(to Thea)
Where have you been? You didn't help me. All your talk about self esteem, being who you are, then you desert us. You'd make a great politician.
JOHN
(calms Natalie down)
Gayleen's poetry was about following dreams and nonconforming. Well, being a teacher, even if it's restricting, it is my dream.
Natalie, be honest with who you want to be.
NATALIE
Yeah, and I'm a class clown, that's who I am! That means I can't drop out, I'll go to college, even graduate school!
(Theia smiles)
JOHN
She doesn't interrupt class like she used to. She and her friends are teaching me as well. How I can be cool. Maybe even funny.
NATALIE
He needs plenty of work. But there is a lot less snoring in class.
POLYHYMNIA
Colleen, how are things?
COLLEEN
Well, I'm glad you introduced all of us. We've been hanging out, supporting each other.
ERATO
See, I told you networking would be a good idea.
ALLEN
That's what people need, a place to go to be with people that will help. We love you goddesses, but we didn't need your magic, all we needed was the hope you gave us.
CALLIOPE
And hope is free, if you can find it.
Melissa doesn't buy it, she sighs and rolls her eyes.
COLLEEN
(to Erato)
John talked to my father, he got him to let me keep majoring in music for two years, and if I prove I can stick with it, he'll let me do whatever makes me happy!
Enter Rege the architect, he is carrying blueprints under his arm and is dressed in a well tailored business suit. However Rege now seems distant and depressed, when before he wasn't. He gives Melpomene a look.
REGE
(to Melpomene)
Well, I found out you don't work for the county. What possessed me to suddenly drive over here?
Is that your job, to go around making people depressed?
GAYLEEN
(making a cross with fingers)
This cat has threads like he's a corporate suit!
JOHN
Relax, he's an architect. That's his dream. Nothing wrong with wearing a suit...To him such haberdashery is wild.
ALLEN
(shaking Rege's hand)
Say, guy, I've done a little carpentry work in my day, mind if I take a peek at your building plans?
Rege hands the blueprints over to him. Allen steps to the back, unrolls and examines the large building plans. All of a sudden one of the bushes makes a loud sneeze. Everyone turns to see who and what it is.
ALLEN
(standing near bush)
Before I met you gals I woulda been surprised to hear foliage sneezing. Not now.
Out of the brush steps Apollo. The god of the Sun is dressed like a bush. He has tried to be camouflaged, there are leaves and branches sticking out of his toga.
EUTERPE
Apollo, what are you doing?!
APOLLO
(itching nose)
I didn't want you to know I was keeping an eye on you.
Allen is honored to be in Apollo's presence. He extends his hand to greet him.
ALLEN
Oh, my I didn't know you had a brother that was a bush.
Apollo, don't make yourself so scarce, especially during the winter.
(Allen and Apollo talk in the background)
REGE
(utterly confused)
What the...who?
NATALIE
That's their family tree. You want him to leave?
(everyone is amused except Rege)
REGE
(to Melponene)
Who are you people anyway!
MELPOMENE
(sorry)
I was sent here to inspire you, but you don't need that, you're already a wonderful architect.
What you needed was someone to build your building. But there are limits to our powers.
REGE
I knew you were strange. Why did you waste my time?
MELISSA
Is it fair for you to all show up and preach about exaggerated golden moments, when you don't even live in the real word!
EMILY
(talking for the first time)
Yeah, with all your wizardry,
you'll disappear again soon, then where will we be?!
She covers her mouth, as to say "oops, I don't talk."
EUTERPE
I knew you could talk!
I didn't do that, you did!
CALLIOPE
Don't expect miracles from us.
You've got to hang on to your dreams and make them work for you.
(music starts)
APOLLO
(to Allen)
Oh, not more singing.
MELISSA
I don't want to hear some sappy, mushy song about hanging on!
Calliope sings to single mom Melissa. The song about hanging on is actually called "LET GO."
CALLIOPE
Excuse me!
IT DOESN'T PLEASE ME TO SEE YOU IN SUCH PAIN, KNOWING HOW MUCH
YOU LOVE TO COMPLAIN.
I'VE TOLD YOU HOPE IS FREE
BUT ALL YOU WANT IS SYMPATHY
YOU'VE BEEN A VICTIM I REALIZE
BUT STOP WAITING FOR A PRIZE!
LOSE THE SELF-PITY AND DOUBT
HOLD ON TO YOUR DREAMS
THIS IS WHAT LIFE MEANS...
YOU WON'T GET IT ALL, TILL YOU
LOSE A LITTLE AND LET GO,
LET GO.
OTHER MUSES
LET GO OF YOUR ANGER
LET GO OF YOUR HATE
LET GO OF WANTING HANDOUTS FROM LIFE.
THEN YOU'LL FIND GOLDEN MOMENTS
RAINBOWS ARE GONNA SHOW UP
I KNOW.
EMILY
NOW I SEE JUST WHAT YOU MEAN
I WANTED ATTENTION
WAS AFRAID OF REJECTION
TIME FOR ME TO LET GO AND SING
I WON'T GET IT ALL, TILL I LOSE A LITTLE AND LET GO.
THEN I'LL FIND GOLDEN MOMENTS
RAINBOWS ARE GONNA SHOW UP
I KNOW.
LET GO.
EVERYONE BUT MELISSA
LET GO OF YOUR ANGER
LET GO OF YOUR HATE
LET GO OF YOUR FEARS ABOUT LIFE
CALLIOPE
YOU'VE GOT TO LIVE WITH REJECTION
WHEN YOU WERE EXPECTING
ABSOLUTE PERFECTION, I KNOW.
LET GO, LET GO.
Melissa come around, she nods and smiles, gives Calliope a hug.
CALLIOPE
THEN YOU'LL FIND GOLDEN MOMENTS
RAINBOWS ARE GONNA SHOW UP
I KNOW. LET GO, LET GO,
LET GO.
Allen has been whispering with Rege. During the number Allen calls a huddle with Apollo, Rege, Gayleen and Natalie. They are brainstorming.
APOLLO
(with attitude)
Are you done, or is there going to be yet another verse?
Apollo looks at audience and shakes his head as if they are going to be on his side. After hearing such a heartfelt number it would be great if someone in the audience booed his cynicism and he reacted to it.
ALLEN
We've got an idea.
REGE
A great idea!
APOLLO
It was Allen's brain child. We're going to build a place for the mortals.
GAYLEEN
Where troubled people of any age can go!
ALLEN
Where homeless people can get food, shelter and counseling!
REGE
Creative people can meet there too!
APOLLO
Networking, mainstreaming!
REGE
It's all planned out.
(waving plans)
A community center!
CLIO
How, where, when?
APOLLO
(with notebook)
Right here, right now...OK, I accessed some computers, the county owns this property, that nobody wants. I'll cut through the red tape with some fancy hacking, with the right publicity we can get them to donate money every year to keep our community center running.
MELOPOMENE
A building that big will costs a fortune, we have limited resources.
APOLLO
(holding up Rege's plans)
Not if we pool our magic together. We've got the blueprint.
REGE
I'll design some columns to give the place an Olympic look!
JOHN
I know it's a Herculean task.
THEIA
And Hercules is on vacation!
APOLLO
(puts arm around Allen and Rege)
These mortals have their own power, all humans have strong wills, if you can get them away from bad influence...Like television. People will come to help us build!
Apollo rips off his toga and underneath are overalls. He makes a hard hat appear and places it on his head.
APOLLO
(clapping)
OK, let's get to work people...one two three...
Apollo makes tools and such appear. He hands a clipboard and hard hat to Allen. Allen is appointed foreman and he is delighted. He is the only one who truly likes to have Apollo around.
Rege dons a hard hat and holding out his blue print he begins to supervise the layout for the building.
ALLEN
Come on, folks we're building a house, everybody deserves to live somewhere.
Allen signals everybody to grab tools and join in. Emily the former mute, begins to sing "BUILD A HOUSE."
EMILY
(singing)
THERE'S A LOTTA THINGS YOU CAN DO
BY YOURSELF. DON'T EXPECT TO
ALWAYS HAVE HELP.
TEACH YOURSELF TO SING
ALMOST ANYTHING
BUT YOU CAN'T BUILD A HOUSE
ALL BY YOURSELF
CHORUS
SOME THINGS YOU CAN'T DO
BY YOURSELF.
COME ON EVERYBODY,
LET'S HELP OUT.
Community volunteers ready to help build march into the scene singing. They stream in carrying ladders, tools, lumber, pushing wheel barrows etc. Some of them are carpenters or ordinary people donating their time, others are homeless people eager to help.
EMILY
SOME PEOPLE ARE BOTTLED UP
WITH GREED.
THEY SAY "IT'S NOT FAIR,
I'M NOT GONNA SHARE
'CAUSE NO ONE HELPED ME!"
IS IT SO BAD TO GIVE SOMETHING UP
AND GET NOTHING BACK BUT A SMILE?
We hear a bulldozer and a cement truck obscured by the swarming workers. Lots of hammering and sawing sounds. Magically precut boards levitate into place, walls already framed sail through the air.
ALL NINE MUSES
SOME OF US ARE SPOILED
SOME OF US ARE RICH
BUT WE ALL GOT HELP
WHEN WE NEEDED IT
Several middle-aged stern-faced men in suits have shown up carrying brief cases. They typify greedy-looking corporate businessmen. For a moment it looks like they might be there to try to halt the construction. Then they smile, drop their brief cases and begin to help out.
BUSINESSMEN
SHARE, BREAK DOWN AND SHARE
GIVE SOMETHING UP
HELP SOMEONE OUT
IS IT SO BAD TO GIVE SOMETHING UP,
AND GET NOTHING BACK BUT A SMILE?
APOLLO
(yelling over the singing)
OK, people...That board here that wall there...hurry up!
In no time familiar-looking columns are erected. Decorating begins with painters and landscapers giving the building an ancient Greek motif. Furniture is delivered. A large sign is put over the main entrance: "OLYMPUS HOUSE, COMMUNITY DREAM CENTER."
CHORUS
SHARE, BREAK DOWN AND SHARE.
GIVE SOMETHING UP
HELP SOMEONE OUT
EMILY
THERE'S A LOTTA THINGS YOU CAN DO BY YOURSELF. DON'T EXPECT TO
ALWAYS HAVE HELP.
BUT YOU CAN'T BUILD A HOUSE
ALL BY YOURSELF.
SHARE, BREAK DOWN AND SHARE
GIVE SOMETHING UP
GET NOTHING BACK BUT A SMILE
The song ends. Timid Emily beams as she is congratulated for her fine singing.
The building is finished. Every one steps back to admire their work. They take a break, happy, but out of breath after building such a grand structure in just a few minutes. Terpsichore is the only one not grinning, she walks to the front of the stage while the background darkens and everyone else exits. She is noticeably depressed.
TERPSICHORE
I wish Jason could be here to see this.
(sarcastic)
Oh, what an exaggerated golden moment this is for me.
Lights dim out. Mood changes. Terpsichore stays in the same place as we switch to prison scene.
END OF SCENE TWO
ACT II, SCENE THREE - PRISON - DAY
A wall to the prison slides in. Lights come up on the small prison visiting room. Jason is sitting, depressed as usual. Terpsichore enters and his eyes light up. They are the only two in this scene. Since they do not need the whole prison set, it is possible for the Olympus House set to stay up in the darkened background. They stare at each other, trying to contain their emotions.
JASON
How'd you get in here without a guard? You--you're different.
TERPSICHORE
I got my power back.
They hug each other.
JASON
I can't stop thinking about you! I thought I'd never see you again...All afternoon I've had this strange desire to break out of here and go to some vacant lot on the edge of town.
TERPSICHORE
There's something about you I can't get over. Even after I was restored, I still had all these mortal emotions.
JASON
What?
TERPSICHORE
I fell in love with you Jason.
JASON
I love you too...But I'm doing life, without parole.
TERPSICHORE
Couldn't you just have it reduced to say, a hundred years instead?...
JASON
I won't live that long!
TERPSICHORE
I have enough power to break you out of here. Would they look for you?
JASON
They'd never stop, after all I was framed.
TERPSICHORE
(sad)
There is supposed to be a union between us, but there is a wide and unbridgeable gap between men and gods...Jason, I'm not from this world. Our love is forbidden, in another hundred years I won't even have a wrinkle. I'm a goddess.
JASON
A goddess, from Mount Olympus?!
TERPSICHORE
(almost crying)
Even worse, I'm a Muse...We can't be together, it just can't be.
JASON
Who sent you here, who was it?!
Jason tries to talk to her and she vanishes before his eyes. He shakes his head, suddenly it all makes sense to him, but it doesn't make him any happier. He begins to sing "WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW."
JASON
WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW
IS HOW MUCH I KNOW
OF WHO YOU ARE
AND WHY I'M HERE.
OFFSTAGE CHORUS
WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW...
THE PROBLEM WITH BEING A GOD IS...
JASON
THE PROBLEM WITH BEING A MORTAL IS TOMORROW IS OVER BEFORE IT CAN START
IT'S HARD TO LIVE WITH A BROKEN HEART
AND WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW
IS THE LOVE THAT I FEEL
YOU WERE RIGHT HERE
AND NOW YOU'RE NOT REAL
WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW
IS THE BREAK IN MY HEART
WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW
IS THE WISH THAT I WISH
IF YOU WERE TO KNOW
I'D BEGIN WITH A KISS
NEVER LETTING YOU GO
IF YOU NEVER RETURN
I'LL ALWAYS LIVE
WITH WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW
Blackout. END OF SCENE THREE.
ACT II, SCENE FOUR - OLYMPUS HOUSE - AFTERNOON
Lights come back up on Olympus House Community Center. All nine muses and their clients, except Jason, are preparing for the opening night festivities. A banner reads "Grand Opening." Lots of flags and such things.
Apollo is back in his toga, he waves his cellar phone, claps his hands, barks orders. He is more enthusiastic then ever, if that is possible. A couple of mortal clients are on regular phones set up outside to publicize the event.
Fliers are handed out to people who are reporters, there are still cameramen snapping pictures and a video camera crew rolling. Lots of ad-lib publicity pitching and reporting. Terpsichore has rejoined her sisters. But she is still visibly depressed.
APOLLO
(waving goodbye to reporters
and talking on phone)
OK, OK, photos, press kits, yes, yes, yes...Very good people, don't forget to make it the lead-in story. Thank you…Nonsense, I can guarantee the weather will be fabulous tonight...Of course, I only dressed this way to set the mood.
He makes a face at the reporters' backs, then looks to the audience as if to say "I can dress as I please, they don't know who I am.
APOLLO
Who wants a sunburn?
POLYHYMIA
This place is going to be packed tonight!
MELPOMENE
I can't believe we finished our assignments.
TERPSICHORE
I didn't finish mine.
URANIA
Terpsichore, will you cheer up!
TERPSICHORE
I can't help it, I'd rather be a mortal then never see Jason again.
CLIO
Don't talk like that.
TERPSICHORE
I'd rather be dead. I'd walk into a moving bus right now if I thought it would work.
CALLIOPE
You're not setting a very good example of hope and inspiration!
Suddenly there is the familiar sound of thunder in the sky. Also the sound of a team of horses.
APOLLO
(searching the sky)
I don't believe it, I hear Dad's flying horses! He hasn't tried to fly in his chariot once since before 1900. Doesn't he know he's going to get picked up on radar?
Everybody looks off to stage left. Soon they spot the flying chariot offstage. The sounds get louder, they wince and prepare to see a crash.
We hear horse hoofs making contact with Earth. Followed by a big thud, the rustle of brush. A loose chariot wheel rolls into the scene. The chariot containing Zeus rips free of the horses and comes rolling into the scene backwards. There are leaves and torn-off branches hanging out of the chariot.
Zeus steps out, sets down his whip and picks small branches off his robe. His back is stiff from the ride but he is casual about the crash landing.
ZEUS
Who put that tree in the way!
(looking around)
Oh my, I haven't been to this part of the world since shortly after the Cretaceous Period.
(calling off stage left)
Yes, they'll be fine, just let them graze right there!
His assistants enter, they are more banged up after having been thrown clear. They pick up the lose wheel and cart the chariot away for repairs. When Zeus begins to talk among his people, he seems more direct, less Reaganesque. As if the experience of the community service has also helped him remember his purpose.
CLIO
Father, you are crazy!
Allen, ever eager to meet gods, jumps over to Zeus and extends his hand.
ALLEN
My name's Allen, you must be the Lord of the Sky.
Zeus quickly shakes Allen's hand. Allen's body shakes and his hair stands on end upon coming in contact with Zeus. But it is only for a few seconds and Allen is honored to have been zapped by the king.
ZEUS
Sorry, didn't mean to shock you.
I'm not grounded properly...
(does something to ground himself)
There.
POLYHYMINIA
Father, we've brought all of our clients here!
CALLIOPE
(pointing to house)
We've done a good deed father!
ZEUS
(nods)
I came the minute I saw you on the news...Terpsichore..?
Zeus sees that Terpsichore is troubled, he takes her off to the side.
TERPSICHORE
Father, I can't finish my assignment.
ZEUS
Daughter, what is wrong? You seem to have lost your sunny disposition.
APOLLO
(to audience)
Watch, he won't even look at me.
TERPSICHORE
Father, I finally found love, I inherited mortal emotions.
ZEUS
My dear, we were made in the human mold and always subject to strict human passions. You always had the feelings, you were just too busy and pampered to notice.
The gods of Zeus' immediate family are accustomed to his eccentric, electric presence. The mortals, however have just witnessed great flying white horses and the crash landing of the Lord of the Sky. They are in awe of this kind, gentle looking man dressed like a king, with his sparkling eyes. He then preaches to them with a soft, sympathetic voice.
ZEUS
I came here because I'd forgotten...Originally man was supposed to co-exist with gods, but not to depend on them. Gods are like celebrities and politicians, we often fail to carry out our obligations... We do what any man would do if there were no risk of failure. Life has to have failures. You have to put the trust in yourselves.
A homeless man who is there working has brought a young child with him. The kid is smudged with dirt, looking like a little rag doll. You can see the child is frightened, not only by Zeus, but by the world in general. The great Zeus kneels down, puts his hand on the child's shoulder and smiles at him. The child grins and is no longer afraid. It is as if Zeus just sent a few volts of confidence through his little body.
ZEUS
(to child)
I don't have the power to help all of you. I can't dream for other people. The magic is within you.
TERPSICHORE
Father, I want you to turn me back into a mortal, I'll live out my short life with a fugitive from the law.
ZEUS
You can not abdicate being a god! You have a responsibility as all people do.
ZEUS
(he comforts her)
Terpsichore...Apollo, we've got business. I've ignored the union between man and god. Plug your laptop into a cellular, I want you to access some records at the State Capitol. Let's go.
APOLLO
Hey Dad, with both of us down here, who's minding things?
ZEUS
I put Mercury in charge.
APOLLO
Oh, brother. Oh, Jumping Jehosaphat.
(claps hands)
People, take a short dinner break. Allen, feed 'em!
Zeus escorts Apollo off to stage left towards his chariot. They exit. The mortals and the Muses enter Olympus House to have a dinner break.
APOLLO
(offstage)
Oh, no Dad, I'm not riding in that thing!
END OF SCENE FOUR.
ACT II, SCENE FIVE - OLYMPUS HOUSE - EARLY EVENING
Later that evening. Everything is set and everyone is all dressed up for the opening gala. Searchlights etc. The mortals all file through the main door to make sure the inside is ready. The nine Muses are the only ones left on stage.
Suddenly we hear sounds of an electric guitar wailing, feedback. A buff of smoke billows from out of the windows of Olympus House. Mercury has landed. The scruffy god enters from out of the front door. He wipes off his right hand as he calls back to the house.
MERCURY
Yeah, yeah, nice meeting you too, Allen!
He inspects the place, smiles and nods.
URANIA
Mercury, I'm glad you could make it, but who's watching the temple?
MERCURY
Oh, things are automated.
(he takes out a deck of
cards and plays with them)
I've simply gotta start spending more time down here.
Zeus and Apollo enter along with a couple assistants.
ZEUS
Mercury, put those cards away!
(mutters)
He'll have the vice squad here in no time...Terpsichore, there is nothing I would rather do than give you a dose of reality. Not all dreams come true, however...
I did some research.
Zeus snaps his fingers and one of his assistants hands him a letter.
ZEUS
(reading paper)
You'll notice this is mortal stationery. It is from the state prison board, signed by the governor. It is a full pardon.
Zeus signals offstage. Carrying a suitcase and wearing a cheap suit is Jason, now a free man. Terpsichore runs up and hugs him.
TERPSICHORE
Jason!...Ok, father, I'm ready to be turned into a regular human, to stay with Jason and grow old.
ZEUS
You can't abdicate being a god! ...It is not a coincidence that Jason was your client. With Apollo's help, I picked him on purpose. Of course, I had no idea you'd take a fancy to one another...
APOLLO
We had a hunch. Then I looked into the records. Gods are not supposed to hold civilian positions. Well-
MERCURY
I'm the one who heard him singing.
APOLLO
(nods)
It seems our wicked friend Hannibal up there was singing a song he taught to prisoners down here.
Apollo snaps his fingers and Hannibal is escorted on. He is being restrained by of all people, the Fashion Police.
ZEUS
I found out that Hannibal was on the board of directors for the state prison system. It seems he personally supervised the incarceration of Jason.
TERPSICHORE
But why?
JASON
I spilled coffee on Hannibal's toga.
HANNIBAL
It was a brand new toga!
(both Fashion Police officers nod)
FASHION OFFICER
Well, that's understandable.
OTHER OFFICER
I mean if it was brand new.
JASON
Terpsichore, at first I couldn't tell you, then when I tried to, you vanished. I am a god, or at least I was. I was born on Mount Olympus, I foolishly joined Hannibal's army when I was very young.
APOLLO
I offered him a new job back on Olympus.
(arm around Jason)
The loafing is gonna end.
He'll be my new assistant.
(reactions)
JASON
What do you think of that?
(mimics Apollo)
People.
ZEUS
I hereby restore you to full god status by the grace of Zeus!
Zeus touches Jason's forehead with one hand and holds his thunderbolt in the air with the other. A brief bit of thunder and lighting, smoke as Jason does a quick change into a toga. Terpsichore gives him a respectable kiss, they hold hands and lock eyes.
ZEUS
(to Jason and Muses)
Now, since Hannibal is so fond of punishment, we must decide on a fit course to reward his treachery. Just name it and I'll do it to him.
Everybody shouts out horrible ad-lib suggestions. The Fashion Police say "make him wear polyester."
TERPSICHORE
No! If I've learned one thing. It was anger and punishment that started this. This is our chance to end it. Let's help people. And not dwell on nightmares. Let's move on to our opening gala!
(points to Hannibal)
Maybe this old sad sack will learn something. Let him try community service.
(crowd reaction)
MERCURY
Can't we just all beat him up a little bit?
HANNIBAL
(scared)
I'll try to change, I promise!
ZEUS
Umm. Hannibal, you're ten thousand years old!
(snaps fingers, assistant takes a memo)
ZEUS
Very well. I'm an old softy. However, I hereby disband your army. All your elephants will be retired. The conditions of your probation depend on how well you preform on your new job here in town...cleaning the elephant cages at the zoo.
One of Zeus' assistants hands Hannibal a large snow shovel. Hannibal reacts as if he were sentenced to death. The Fashion Police release him and treat him like he's already covered with elephant dung.
People begin to arrive to attend the open house gala. All types of people trickle in. No longer interested in the Hannibal saga, the Muses move toward the entrance to greet people.
A young kid steps off a bicycle and talks to Mercury. He is a cute kid but he looks troubled.
YOUNG KID
Excuse me. I hear there's a special place opening here. I didn't know it was a costume party...I need someone to talk to.
MERCURY
(puts arm around kid,
leads him to door)
You've come to the right place kid.
ZEUS
(pulling the kid away from
Mercury's influence)
Son, everything will be OK.
You'll be happy, life will be grand, as long as you never give up believing in yourself.
YOUNG KID
(smiles at Zeus' presence)
Wow, who are you?
APOLLO
Oh, you just had to ask didn't you?
Zeus' eyes light up and so does the sky. The king is delighted at the excuse to explain himself.
ZEUS
Who me?
(begins to sing)
DO YOU NEED TO ASK ME WHY?
I'M FATHER OF ALL
AND LORD OF THE SKY.
TERPSICHORE
Dad, save it for the show...
Don't fret. Zeus' "GOD OF THUNDER" vanity bit is simply a lead-in to grand finale. The old King has barely started to work the room when the Muses break in with their explanations of what life and Olympic house is all about. Various mini-reprises. Apollo comes up with yet another outfit, a tuxedo toga.
Long production number with magic. Lots of solo and group work with all the formerly homeless and principal gods and mortals. Perhaps a string of inmates chained together on a furlough escorted by guards? Even a solo for Hannibal. Ends with the entire cast singing a reprise of "Sunny Disposition."
THE END
APOLLO
(while ushering the
cast offstage)
Okay, people, the show's over! Quit taking curtain calls and bowing. Let's clean this place up! C'mon, people!